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Silver Monarch

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Sep 3 09 8:25 AM

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Silver Monarch

Posts: 2,548

#2 [url]

Nov 17 09 9:58 PM

Tried to find the joke thread goes ..You can all moan and slap me later devil

Best Adult Joke of the Year

One day in the future, BarackObama has a heart-attack anddies.
He immediately goes to hell,
wherethe devil is waiting for him.

"I don't know what to do here,"
says the devil. "You are on mylist, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got a couple of folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves."

Obama thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the door to the first room.
In it was Ted Kennedy and a large pool of water. Ted kept diving in, and surfacing, empty handed. Over, and over, and over he dived in and surfaced with nothing. Such was his fate in hell.

"No," Obama said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer, and I don't think I could do that all day long."

The devil led him to the door of the next room.

In it was Al Gore with a sledge-hammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time.

"No, this is no good; I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day," commented Obama.

The devil opened a third door. Through it, Obama saw Bill Clinton, lying on the bed, his arms tied over his head, and his legs restrained in a spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.

Obama looked at this in shocked disbelief, and finally said, "Yeah man, I can handle this."

The devil smiled and said...........

"OK, Monica, you're free to go."

Well aren't you just a fun little lollipop triple dipped in psycho......

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Silver Monarch

Posts: 2,548

#8 [url]

Feb 2 10 12:51 PM

Dear Santa,
How are you? How is Mrs. Claus?

I hope everyone, from the reindeer to
the elves, is fine.
I have been a very good boy this year.
I would like an X - Box 360 with Call of
Duty IV and an iPhone 4 for Christmas.
I hope you remember that come Christmas Day.
Merry Christmas,
Timmy Jones

* *
Dear Timmy,

Thank you for you letter.
Mrs. Claus, the reindeer and the elves
are all fine and thank you for asking about
Santa is a little worried all the time you
spend playing video games and texting.
Santa wouldn't want you to get fat.
Since you have indeed been a good boy,
I think I'll bring you something you can
go outside and play with.

Merry Christmas,
Santa Claus

Mr. Claus,
Seeing that I have fulfilled the "naughty vs.

Nice" contract, set by you I might add,
I feel confident that you can see your
way clear to granting me what I have
asked for.
I certainly wouldn't want to turn this
joyous season into one of litigation.

Also, don't you think that a jibe at my
weight coming from an overweight man
who goes out once a year is a bit trite?

Tim Jones

* *

Mr. Jones,
While I have acknowledged you have met

the "nice" criteria,need I remind you that your
Christmas list is a request and in no way is it
a guarantee of services provided.
Should you wish to pursue legal action,well
that is your right. Please know, however, that
my attorney's have been
on retainer ever since the Burgermeister

Meisterburger incident and will be more than
happy to take you on in open court.
Additionally, the exercise I alluded to will not
only improve your health, but also improve
your social skills and potentially help clear
up a complexion that looks like the
bottom of the Burger King fry bin most days.

Very Truly Yours,
S Claus

* *

Now look here Fat Man,
I told you what I want and I expect you to bring it.
I was attempting to be polite about this
but you brought my looks and my friends
into this.
Now you just be disrespecting me.
I'm about to tweet my boys and we're gonna
be waiting for your fat ass and I'm taking my
game console,my game, my phone, and
whatever else I want.

T - Bone

* *

Listen Pizza Face,
Seriously??? You think a dude that breaks into every house in
the world on one night and never gets caught sweats a
skinny G - banger wannabe?
"He sees you when you're sleeping;
He knows when you're awake".
Sound familiar, genius?

You know what kind of resources I have at my disposal.
I got your shit wired, Jack. I go all around
the world and see ways to hurt people that
if I described them right now, you'd throw
up your Totino's pizza roll all over the carpet
of your mom's basement.
You're not getting what you asked for, but
I'm still stopping by your crib to stomp a
mud hole in you're ass and then walk it dry.

Chew on that, Petunia.

S Clizzy

* *

Dear Santa,
Bring me whatever you see fit.

I'll appreciate anything.

* *

That's what I thought you little bastard.




Well aren't you just a fun little lollipop triple dipped in psycho......

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Silver Monarch

Posts: 2,548

#15 [url]

Jul 10 10 12:56 AM

Okay I know I know ..but I think this is BRILLIANT!!

Guess I am just a whacko ;)

Well aren't you just a fun little lollipop triple dipped in psycho......

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